Tears Of The Dog
By Allen Kinchen
It was the year of the Buzzard , for we knew the
buzzards meant another Choctaw was dead. And every
week we saw buzzards. Our lives were changing very
fast . The change was not welcome nor wanted . The
change was not brought on by changing our traditions,
nor by weather , nor by marriage, nor by lack of
food , nor by sickness ,not even by the birth of
children ,, but by the killing of our
people..---------------- The white men had been raging wars
for many years now ... Nothing protected us , not even the
spirits intervened to help us.. I had lost my father to an
unknown killer .. He went hunting in the morning and simply
never came back .. We found him by watching the buzzards
circling overhead ... I knew it was him because it was his
favorite spot for killing deer .------------------- I cried
all the way back while we carried his body .. I looked at
him and examined his body . He was my father , Hawk Eyes ,
and he was a great man ... His body was very very strong ,
he was very smart and a very handsome man ,, and he
had taught me so much about life .. And now he was dead
... It appeared only one shot , but it tore his flesh
terribly , he had a hole in his back , but his
chest was opened up very big . The bullet was big, he
never had a chance ....
-----------He had a gun , but that day he only
took his bow and arrows , it was the cool fall time of the
year .. the leaves had not quite started falling yet , but
the color changes were there ... He had picked a beautiful
day to hunt deer ....
Someone had picked the same day to hunt him .....
--------I pondered in my mind how I would get
revenge on the white man who did this to him . I knew it
was
a white man because of the tracks we found next to his
body . They were boot tracks .
----------Hatred filled my heart for days .. I was empty , I felt dead inside, My father was my best friend as well as my teacher ....
----------The white men had constantly been trying to get us to leave our village . And it was moved several times ,, each time deeper into the forest .. The white man had broken every treaty that our people had with them .... And now their new leader Andrew Jackson , had sworn to eliminate the Choctaw from doing anything or even being seen. The white men did not punish white men for killing a Choctaw . We are savages we are told by them ..
-----------But I know all white men are not bad
, but still the killing continues , especially to our
northern brothers .. We are told that entire villages ,
hundreds of Choctaw and Cherokee were killed in one day,
and this great White man , Andrew Jackson was the leader.
And now he is called the big chief , and he will surely
kill all of us .. I am afraid for my mother and sister ..
So many of the males have already been killed .. My
grandfather , my father , my uncles , many of us are
with the spirits now .. ,, it seems death ceremonies
happen all the time now ....
--------Each night I lay wondering how could
this have happened .. What evil spirit lives in these white
men ... I examined all of my fathers weapons,, for
hunting and for fighting ,, he was probably killed by a gun
similar to the one he traded mink pelts for , when I was
very small .
------------I missed my father very much ...
About four weeks later , I had a dream, I dreamed I was
with my father when I was much younger .. I was not
paying attention and we were hunting , we walked along and I
got curious and poked through an old rotten log .. Out
of the log came hundreds of yellow stinging bees ..
The bees swarmed and stung me all over .. My father said
run and take off all of your clothes .. So I did what
he said , and the bees stung the clothes and left me
alone .... This had never happened to us so I did not
know what the dream meant.
----------------I few nights passed and I had a
second dream ,, this time I was young and my father was
teaching me how to swim ... I was pretty stupid and I
panicked and started going under the water.. I grabbed my
father and almost drowned him .. But he grabbed me just
right and pulled me to shore ... ,, but in real life
this never happened , my uncle had taught me how to swim.
-------------A few days passed and I had another dream
,,, we were hunting and we came near a white man's camp.
Dogs came out and attacked us , one of the dogs bit
me , my father took his knife and killed the dog ..
Then the white man came out and was ready to shoot my
father for killing his dog ... So we took off running
in fear of being shot . But again in real life this
did not happen ..
-------------Then another dream happened ,, my
father took the spirit form of a dog .. and was talking to
me .. He told me to work hard to get everyone together to
leave the big river country , and go north to safety ....
---------I woke up from this dream and went outside ,, I
sat next to the camp fire shaking .. My fathers pet dog
came over to me and sat on his hind legs and stared at me .
I looked and his eyes were crying and had a strange glow in
them .. I had never seen a dog cry nor ever seen a dog that
had red colored bright eyes like this dog . I looked
into the crying eyes of my fathers dog , the dog was
really crying , I had never seen this before, ... I
looked deep into his eyes and I saw my father .. The
spirit of my father was inside of the dog ... Then the
dogs mind began to talk to me .. The dog showed me a
picture , and then I saw the dog cry even more and
howl.. My father was in the picture showing me the way
to leave .. I held the dogs head in my hand by his
ears and could not believe my eyes , my father was
inside of his pet dog , I looked into the dogs eyes
and my father was looking back at me ..
----------I talked to my father through the dog
eyes , and the dog sat still and quiet , tears were flowing
from the dogs eyes . My father told me to help convince the
village people to leave immediately ... And to tell my
mother and sister they must listen to me ... I said I would
, and I spent the rest of the night talking to my father
through the eyes of the dog .. -------------It took
a while but finally the village people listened to me
, within a month we were on our way north .. Later we
were told the few that stayed behind were murdered
in a raid by the white men ... I felt very lucky to be
alive , all because I looked and saw the
"Tears Of The Dog"